i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
