3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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