I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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