so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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