i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
