a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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