i just had sex bonerless
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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