I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
