we're blogging at a bar
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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