"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
