i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
