Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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