He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
