fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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