Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
