yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
