we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
