My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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