Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
