he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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