So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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