Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
