I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
