You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
