Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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