Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
