I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
