shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
