Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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