OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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