none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
