and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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