was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
