life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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