I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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