32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
