I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
