Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
