This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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