worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
