he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
