I think my vagina is haunted
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
