I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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