i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
