you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
