you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like death gave me a hand job
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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