problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
