Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
