you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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