and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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