thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
