I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
